Sunday Puppy Humor

This is just a "for fun" post. I enjoy humorous pictures, and have numerous shots of my dogs being silly and funny. In other words, typical dogs. Throw a puppy into the mix, and you have nonstop humor (though often seasonsed with healthy doses of exasperation!).

The Beware of Dog picture shows Asterisk with her head through the porch gate (like a cow at her stanchion, waiting to be milked!). The sign was given to me by my sister, who has my same warped sense of humor.

The next picture shows Asterisk trying to lick peanut butter off her face. She was making such contorted faces and looked so funny, despite the fact her dark, slanted eyebrows always make her look like she's scowling.

The final picture is Asterisk with a plastic water bottle. She far prefers toys that are made of plastic because they make such delightful crackly sounds when crunched.

Asterisk, the Monster Demon Annilhilator Puppy

Just look at that sweet Boxer face on the left. That's Asterisk with her big Doberman sister, Nova. Don't they look cute together? Doesn't Asterisk look innocent?

Don't let that puppy face fool you. She's at it again. Her name's Asterisk, but it should be Destructo. It's actually quite funny. She has learned the joys of ripping things off the clothesline and subjecting them to dirt, dog poop, grass stains, dog slobber, you name it.

Thankfully, today the only things on the clothesline were dog blankets and socks. I can see how she got the blankets off the line--they hung down within reach of curious doggy mouths. But the socks? She must have taken a running jump to get high enough to nab them. And she got 4 of the 5 socks off the line.

Thank goodness she isn't a destructive chewer. She never shreds the stuff she takes off the line. She just drags them around and tosses them in the air.

Time for me to get out the old shock collar. It's imperative she learn that taking things off the clothesline will have shocking consequences. (insert sound of evil laughter) How can something with such a sweet face do such diabolical things? I guess it's all part of being a puppy.

So, what's left on my clothesline? One lonely sock, which she was apparently unable to get at. Doesn't it look forlorn, all by itself?

Spring Flowers

Pat Rice posted a picture of her lovely clematis on her blog site, and lamented the fact commenters couldn't leave pictures of their own in the comments section. I agree. I would love to see other people's flower pictures! I love looking at (and smelling) flowers, so I decided to post a few of my own here. I hope you enjoy them!

The yellow picture is a perennial called Basket O' Gold that is one of the first things to bloom in the spring. It cascades over the railroad ties in my landscaping in wild abandon. Their bright yellow flowers are so cheerful. This is a hardy plant that thrives on neglect.

The purple picture is the clematis of a friend. I love how the ruffled edges of the flower remind me of the ruffle on the hem of a Regency debutante's dress.

The green picture isn't of flowers, but of bracken ferns. I liked the pattern of the ferns as well as the bright green color. In case you couldn't tell, I like doing close-ups. *g*

The single flower in the next picture is a columbine, another cheerful little perennial that is blooming in my whiskey planter tub right now.

And the last picture is yet another hardy and determined little flower, the first harbinger of spring: a primrose. These primroses have survived hail, snow, sleet, and driving rain, and don't seem adversely affected by any of it.

Oh, wait, I have one more picture to post. The pink rose is the only rose plant in my garden. I call it my Rose Stick Plant, because it is just one single stalk that sticks out of the ground and it never branches out, nor does it produce more than one single pink rose each year. Originally, it produced a single blue rose, a hybrid I bought through mail order and which I highly prized for its rarity. Then one year the goat I used to own ate the rose down below the graft point, and now all I get is the pink rose, since the stalk the blue rose was grafted to was for a pink rose. Alas.

So these are just a few of my flower pictures.

Bad Dog, Good Dog

You've heard the old bad-cop-good-cop routine. Well, apply that to dogs, if you will. I have a 4-year-old Doberman bitch that couldn't be more perfect. Nova is so well-behaved and inobtrusive that when I'm invited to visit friends and family, they tell me to bring her along.

And then there's Asterisk, my 7-month-old Boxer pup. For the past several days she has been trying my patience to the limit. If there is something to get into, she's gotten into it with a vengeance. A few days ago she flipped an entire bowl of kibbles with her foot, just like tiddly-winks, and shot kibble all over the kitchen floor. It was like someone dropped a bag of marbles. She has utterly destroyed her very expensive high density foam crate pad & cushy afghan I'd placed on top for extra comfort. That's the picture, above.

She knocked over a potted plant and it smashed to smithereens. Dirt and pottery bits all over the place. Then she had the audacity to steal the little plastic dish thing you put under plants to protect furniture (picture on left).

She has chewed a piece of plywood into oblivion, leaving it hanging in strips. She has pulled the bark off a small decorative log I was using as plant stand on my deck. She is still not housebroken, and must be let out every 15-20 minutes or I'm cleaning up accidents.

My exasperation with her is at an all-time high. And just about the time I wonder why I thought it would be fun to own a puppy again, she comes into my bedroom where I'm working at my craft table, creating cards, and lies down at my feet, just to be near me. And my heart melts as she puts her chin on my foot and sighs happily.

Puppies. They're as bad as children.

Beautiful Bounty of Flowers

This will be a short and sweet post, but I couldn't let the day go by without showing you a picture of my bouquet of lilacs and pink rhododendrens. Isn't it a pretty bouquet? (Even if I did jump the gun and pick the lilacs and rhodies before they were fully open!) I love flowers, and I'm grateful that lilacs bloom so early. This bouquet is sitting on my desk as we speak, and the scent is filling the room. Bliss. Pure bliss!

Once More, With Feeling

Once more, I am off to the paint store for more paint chips. I've decided the previous colors I narrowed my choices down to were depressing. I want something different, something to make my house stand out from the crowd. So I'm going with something radically different. I think I'll look at some powder blues and peaches. I'm leaning toward peach, as I think it will go well with the hideous brown roof. And hey, maybe I'll use powder blue accents! Now there's an idea! Lightness instead of the drab dark colors I'd been experimenting with.

Now, of course, I'll have to use several coats of paint to cover the huge swatches of dark green and brick red that I'd already tested on the house. Maybe I should just do something fun and paint each board a different color. But then the neighbors would complain. Ah well, I guess I'll stay traditional, but hopefully with a little style. No matter what I choose, it'll cost money!

So wish me luck. Here I go . . .

Decisions, Decisions!

What color to paint the house? I've been collecting paint chips from Lowe's and Home Depot for weeks, trying to find something that complements the odd redish-brown color of my new roof. Mind you, when I looked at the small roofing sample, the color looked like it would go well with my taupe house. I couldn't have been more wrong. For one thing, a small sample gives you no idea what an entire roof of the same color will actually look like. What I thought was a subtle neutralish brown with a faint red cast, is now a glaringly redish-brown roof that clashes horridly with taupe. It doesn't help that brown is not my favorite color.

So I've been agonizing over house colors. I so don't want a brown house! Thankfully, there is enough red in the roof that I can lean toward brick colors. I also tried several shades of dark hunter green. I've finally narrowed the choices down to the following:

Green: Charcoal Smoke; Gunmetal Gray, Northwest Green

Brown: Mayan Red, Rich Chocolate; Leatherbound; Wine Barrel

Of the above colors, there is only one truly perfect match: Rich Chocolate, which is a rich dark brown with a red cast to it. I'd almost call it a burgundy. The problem is, I need a second color to go with it, because of the way the house is constructed. That's an old photo above, before I had the new roof installed. As you can see, the upper half of the house has vertical boards. The lower half has horizontal boards. I think it would look weird to paint both the upper and lower parts the same color. I've tried a dark hunter green for the bottom, with Rich Chocolate for the upper part, but it looks weird. Then I tried a lighter shade of Rich Chocolate for the bottom, but it looked orange. Next, I tried a hunter green--upper half, and Rich Chocolate--bottom half. Ugh. Then Charcoal Smoke with Gunmetal Gray. Blah.

And then, of course, I have to choose a color for the trim around the windows. I have no idea what colors I'll go with, but in the meantime, the sample colors I've smeared across the front of the house give it a dilapidated patchwork appearance. And as much as I dislike brown, I'm afraid the overwhelming choice so far is Rich Chocolate. Now, to decide on the complementary colors . . .

If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears!

Ada Lovelace, Inventor of the Computer

I've logged on every single day since my last post, trying to think of something new to post, without luck. Nothing's been happening that is blog-worthy. But today on Twitter I came across this link: http://tinyurl.com/cngrar

It is an utterly delightful comic about Ada Lovelace and Charles Babbage, post-Regency inventors of the computer. There are several laugh-out-loud moments. It's a fun and clever and literary comic! So that's my gift to you today. It was a gift to me, and now I'm gi

ving it to you.

Weather report: It has been raining raining raining. That's all it ever does, is rain. When oh when will we ever see some sunshine? I love rain, but this is ridiculous. I don't think I've ever seen a more rainy winter and spring.

Houston, We Have a Problem . . .

. . . or maybe not. I finally have a diagnosis on my thigh pain: meralgia paresthetica. Not that I'm happy about the diagnosis, but at least I now know what it is and what I can do to alleviate the pain, which at times is quite bad. In fact, here are the most common symptoms, all of which I have in spades:

• Constant pain on the outer side of the thigh, extending from hip to knee


• Burning, numbness, or tingling in the thigh


• Bouts of shooting pain, often likened to being stung repeatedly by bees


• Hypersensitivity to touch and heat. Warm water from the shower causes stinging and burning sensation.


• Occasionally, aching in the groin area or across the buttocks


• Usually more sensitive to light touch than to firm pressure


• Aggravated by walking and standing, or prolonged sitting

So I am scheduled to start physical therapy, and I need to lose weight (no surprise there) and start walking again. The only problem is, walking is painful. But I'll do it anyway. Anything to get rid of the constant pain.

On a high note, I bought some hanging plants today, and now I'm going outside to hang them from the beam I installed on the front deck, just for that purpose!

My Dogs

Dogs are so entertaining. I have a 4-year-old Doberman named Nova and a 6-month-old Boxer named Asterisk. They're both girls, and right now they are wrestling on the floor and making the most godawful fake growls and snarls. They enjoy each other's company, and so do I. They're fun to have around and keep me from being lonely.

I don't have much news to report, so this is a fluff piece. I've included pictures to pad out this short blog post. Here are my girls.

Project Done!

It's done! I have a few odds and ends to do yet, but for all intents and purposes I’ve finished building the benches and potting table on my front porch. I still have to paint the benches and table, and clean the deck and then paint it too. But I finished inserting the last screw at 7:30 last night, 4/24. Lord knows when I'll get around to painting them all. That's for another day! I had a blast building this stuff, and now my deck looks so cool.

The long photo above is a composite picture I did in Photoshop, stitching together 6 photos, so the perspective is a bit off. It makes the bench on the right and the table on the left look considerably longer than they really are. The picture was taken from the gate leading onto the porch from the driveway. It makes my deck look huge, but it does give a decent panorama, if somewhat distorted. And yes, the wall and door really are purple. Here's a better picture, without distortion:

The long beam across the top of the benches will be used for hanging plants. The table on the left with the small bench on the end will be used for potting plants and for potluck dishes during barbecues (Think July 4th!). It will also come in very handy when lugging groceries from the car. Instead of leaving the slider open to the elements while I troop back and forth carting grocery bags, I'll be able to deposit all the groceries on the table, first, then once the car is emptied, I'll whisk the bags inside in one fell swoop.

The next picture is actually 2 photos stitched together. You can tell because the deck planks don’t line up. However, the benches are in proportion in this picture. I think it will look really nice once I get it all painted and have flower pots hanging from the beam.

I’ll probably build a gate to go between the two benches, and install handrails for the steps leading down into the side yard. But that's for a later date. Right now, I'm dreading picking colors to paint the deck and benches and table, because it will be one of those exploding projects. To backtrack, I have a new roof that clashes horribly with my house color. When I picked the roof color, I thought it would go well with my taupe house. I was appalled when the roof was done. It's reddish brown, and clashes horribly with the taupe. So I have to repaint the house. It needs it, anyway. But trying to decide on a color is so trying, and I can't paint the deck and benches until I decide on my color scheme for the house. Then I'll be able to find complementary colors for the deck, etc. And then (groan!) I'll have to repaint the cinder block wall and my intricately painted door, because purples will most certainly not go well with anything in the reddish-brown family.

WIP - a Work in Progress

I have several WIPs around the house. The term "WIP" stands for Work in Progress and rightfully belongs to the writing world, where it refers to the manuscript you're working on. For me, it means a whole lot of unfinished projects. Currently, it means the overly-ambitious deck project I'm working on, and which keeps expanding at an alarming rate.

I blame it on the miserably cold and wet winter and spring we've had: unrelenting rain and a spring with hardly any sun at all. It kept me indoors to the point of dementia. And every time we had a rare day or two of good weather I went screaming outside to roll in the dirt in my garden or some other equally physical activity.

So when the forecast a few days ago said we were going to have several days of exceptional weather, I roared into Home Depot and bought a bunch of pressure-treated lumber so I could build benches for my front deck. Then I decided to build a taller bench in one corner, to use as a potting table for when I repotted plants. Then I decided it needed to be longer, so it could double as a table for holding side dishes during barbecues. Then I decided I needed two benches, not one, since I was going to have more barbecues, meaning more people needing places to sit. Then I decided to add a third bench to the end of the potting table. Then I decided I needed to have a place for hanging plants to decorate the deck, so I hoisted a 13-foot beam above two of the benches and bolted it into place.

I'm envisioning a Babylonian Hanging Garden, steaks on the barbecue, the clink of ice cubes in glasses of Sangria, and good friends sprawled comfortably on my brand new benches while the sounds of Stevie Ray Vaughan waft from the stereo. My neighbors will sit in their mean shacks, green with envy, salivating over the delicious smells emanating from the barbie. Or so I imagine. If I ever get this WIP finished! That's a picture on the left of what I've done so far: 2 benches and the overhead beam (it's not really bent--I stitched 4 pictures together using Photoshop) The potting table will go on the left wall where the lumber is stacked. I still have to add backrests to the benches, and complete the arm rests, and then once everything's done, I'll paint the deck and benches.

I'm terrified of what I'll think up next! I'm still working on the bench project, and I have to say that it's coming along nicely, though I sometimes wish I had an extra hand for things like holding up one end of a 13-foot beam while I bolt the other end into place. On the other hand, I . . .

Oh, wait! How about if I put arm rests on my benches? Yeah, I need arm rests. And maybe I could cut out holes for cups, like they do in movie theaters!

What about you? Do you have any WIPs? If not, I envy you! *g*

Blessed are the Friends

This is a post about Susan Wiggs. (Photo on the right)

But first, let's talk about me. *g* Despite the fact I'm the perpetual optimist, I've been feeling a little down lately. The medical things are getting to me: pending hysterectomy, extreme pain (cause unknown) in my right thigh, constant coughing from allergies . . . and an I-don't-care-you're-just-a-number medical system. Yesterday, I made yet another phone call to the clinic trying to find out if my referral to a specialist had gone through. They had initially said it would take 2 weeks. It's been over 2 weeks. I found out they hadn't even started on it. As I told them 2 weeks ago, this needs to be done ASAP, since I'll be losing my medical insurance in the near future, and I want to be sure my hysterectomy is covered.

So how does Susan Wiggs figure into the picture? Well, she may not be able to build a fire under the medical system, but she sure can do things to make you feel better. Susan is a person who always manages to lift my spirits. She did that today when I opened my mailbox and saw a long, skinny package. What the . . .? And then I saw it was from Susan. Now, Susan has this quirky mind that always seems to come up with the perfect gift at the perfect time. The Screaming Monkey Christmas gift had my family in stitches. My Doberman Nova's favorite chew toy is a big green rubber thing, courtesy of Susan. The Rubber Thing has since been commandeered by Asterisk, my Boxer pup. That's Asterisk above, with the Rubber Thing. (And yes, she is sitting on Nova) BTW, a suggestion from Susan was the trigger to my naming the pup Asterisk.

So when I saw the package was from Susan, I started to laugh, knowing it would be something quirky and fun. By time I got back to the house, I'd torn off the brown paper and discovered . . . a BugZooka! (Where does she find these things???)

What's a BugZooka? Well, it's basically a bug disposal unit--a long vacuum tube that sucks up insects. Better than a flyswatter, because it doesn't leave splats on your walls or ceilings. You can either set the bugs free outdoors, or dispose of them some other way. I get these humongous hairy spiders in my bathroom that hang out over my sink or shower, keeping me from my ablutions for fear of them landing on my head. I don't know what kind of uber-spider they are, but Raid has no effect, even when sprayed directly on them. I find that exceedingly scary. And using a flyswatter is out of the question. I tried that once and it left an extremely gross mess on the ceiling. Now I have an effective means of dealing with uninvited critters in my house. I can't wait for the yellowjackets that invade my house every fall and terrorize me and my pets. Zap! Gotcha!!!

Truth in Advertising

If I were in a position of power, I would make it mandatory for food companies to package their products in a non-deceiving way. How many times have you opened a box of macaroni and cheese and discovered that 3/4 of the box is filled with air? Or opened a bag of chips to find that the contents only take up half the bag?

Today I opened a box of angel hair pasta with herb sauce. The box was 7 1/4" x 5". At the bottom of the box was a measly 1" of pasta, and a small bag of powdered seasoning. The box didn't need to be 7 1/4" tall. A 2" tall box would have been ample room for the pasta and packet of seasoning The amount of cardboard wasted on unnecessary (and deceitful) packaging was ludicrous. (See pictures below)

This has long been a pet peeve of mine. Just think how much shelving space would be saved in grocery stores if food companies sized their packaging to fit the actual contents.

End of rant. See the pictures for yourself. The ball point pen in the second picture is pointing to the 1" mark on the ruler. That's how much pasta fills the box. The rest of the box is just empty.

In the second picture, below, I've cut down the side of the box so you can see the 1" of pasta.














This is the actual size of box needed: 2" tall. The other 5" was pure waste.

The Joys of Puppy Ownership

Guess what I came home to tonight after critique group? A very happy puppy, greeting me at the door. She was just so excited to see me. She was all smiles and puppy wags. Only problem is, I locked her in her crate before I left for group tonight. Somehow, she figured out how to open the door, and oh my, did she have a good time. Yes, she pooped and peed all over the place. But she was very selective. She only pooped and peed on the rugs. She completely avoided all the linoleum. Thankfully, she did not tear anything apart.

And she got into the cat's water, so she tanked up really well. The throw rugs are now in the washing machine. I’m so glad they are machine washable, because they are expensive rugs. I'm going to have to tear out both carpets in the library. I know from long experience that it's a lost cause trying to save them with urine smells in them, and the bottom carpet is old anyway, so out it goes. The top carpet is relatively new, but it's already had a few previous accidents on it, and though I took it outside and hosed it down really well when it happened, and let it air dry in the sun for a week, it's now toast. I'm not supposed to be doing any heavy lifting, but this can't be helped. The carpets have to go. Too bad, because the top carpet was practically new.

Things could have been much worse. She could have destroyed the furniture. Terrorized the cats. Gotten into the living room with my pale oatmeal-colored carpet (a sturdy puppy gate prevented that). Now the little blighter is in her crate sawing logs after I cleaned up all the messes around the house. I guess all I can do is laugh. *g*

Here are some pictures I took today of Asterisk and Christopher playing hide & seek. For a cat, Christopher is so good natured about the puppy. He doesn't use his claws at all. Are these cute pictures or what?















(Top) Christopher on the other side of my desk, tempting Asterisk with The Paw of Death.

(Bottom) Christopher has just leaped out at Asterisk from behind the footstool with an, "AHA!"














(Top) Ready to play patty-cake

(Bottom) A pounce ready to happen

This picture cracks me up. Asterisk had been jumping at Christopher when Christopher suddenly whipped out his paw to slap her face (notice his claws are sheathed). Asterisk stopped so fast her loose puppy skin accordioned about her neck and shoulders. Too funny!