Baboon Butt

We interrupt this nostalgia series to bring you this important announcement: Sherrie Holmes has baboon butt. Sherrie Holmes is not a happy camper. Sherrie Holmes is in PAIN!

Yes, I have a flaming red backside and backs of my thighs, thanks to 6.5 hours scooting around on the wet roof on my butt. I was scraping off moss with a screwdriver and broom, then wetting down the roof with the garden hose and broadcasting Tide laundry detergent over the entire surface. (Tide is an excellent moss control for roofs)

Unfortunately, I discovered that scooting around on a wet composition roof (think sandpaper) makes your jeans very wet. And scooting around on a wet roof in wet jeans while grinding laundry detergent into the tender nether regions gives you a painful (very painful!) detergent burn on baby-tender skin.

I am typing this standing up. I cannot sit down. The skin is raw and weeping in places. I tried putting soothing Lubriderm Advanced Therapy hand lotion on the inflamed skin, and all it did was make me do the Mexican Hat Dance. Talk about sting! I looked at the ingredients on the lotion bottle. First ingredient - water. Second ingredient - ALCOHOL!

So now I'm walking spraddle-legged in my undies because I can't bear anything to touch my skin. And I have a flaming red baboon butt and flaming red thighs, plus a flaming red calf on one leg for good measure. I'm too old for this. I'm going to bed, since I can't sit.

Have you ever done anything stupid like this? I would dearly love to know I'm not the only one who does stuff like this.