My Mama Done Raised Me Right

Yesterday I was in the produce aisle of the grocery store and while picking up a bunch of parsley, another bunch that was stuck to mine came loose and fell to the floor. I retrieved it and put it in my cart, to be discarded later. No way was I going to return that parsley to the produce stand after being on a floor that had been trampled by hundreds of dirty shoes.

However, as I was picking up the floor parsley, the guy next to me dropped several large mushrooms from the fresh mushroom bin. They scattered all over the floor. To his credit he picked up every errant mushroom, but to my shock he returned them all to the mushroom bin!

Had his wife been with him, I'm sure she would have slapped the back of his head. Yes, mushrooms grow in dirt, but the floor of the grocery store was none too clean, as I discovered when I bent to pick up the parsley and got an eye-level view of the toe-kick space under the veggie bins.

When I was a child, I believed in the universal rule that any food that fell on the floor could be instantly sanitized by blowing on it. Now that I know better, I thoroughly wash my grocery store veggies and fruits before using them. After all, some unknown person before me could have dropped them on the floor!

Fighting a Losing Battle

I'm losing the Grass Wars battle. Don't get me wrong. I love grass, especially in the spring and fall when growth spurts turn the grass into a wondrous neon green. But I don't like grass growing in my gravel driveway. Twice every year I get out my pump sprayer and attack the grass growing in the driveway. I use Round-up and spray the driveway thoroughly, using a stronger-than-called-for mixture of Round-up and water. It's supposed to kill grass for a year. It doesn't. In 6 months I have to spray again.

I don't want to mow my driveway. I like the clean, crisp look of a manicured lawn and weed-free driveway. But no matter how often I spray my driveway, the grass keeps coming back. I wish I knew a cure for driveway grass! I've tried everything: boiling water, vinegar, hot oil (note to self: do not dump donut-frying oil in your driveway--it will attract every varmint for miles around!). Nothing seems to work. If you have any tips for getting rid of grass permanently, do let me know!